By definition, playing devil’s advocate means to argue for a position you disagree with or argue just for the sake of arguing. But it’s also often used to refer to someone who simply argues an opposing point of view on something. That’s the definition I’ll be using for this post.
Playing devil’s advocate can be a very useful skill if used correctly. It allows you to catch problems before they occur and avoid failures. But it can also make it tough to be positive sometimes. How do you stay positive when you spend so much time focusing on negative things?
Background
First, a little background. I have always been a very analytical person. It’s one of the primary reasons why I’m a good software developer. At its core, programming is problem-solving, which starts with analysis.
The early years of my career were spent in the corporate world working for large companies. Every year we went through the standard performance review process and I routinely did well, except for one area. I usually had at least 1 review that mentioned I could be negative or difficult.
It was frustrating to hear because I didn’t understand why I was viewed that way. Was I really difficult to work with? And if so, why did I consistently excel in every other area?
One year I was sitting with my boss going over my annual performance review. He had just completed his first year as my manager. He started by saying this:
“At first I thought you were being difficult. But after working with you for the past year I realized every idea you question in meetings, every worst-case scenario you bring up, every ‘what-if’ you ask, is done to make our application and our team better”.
Finally someone understood me, and more importantly, I finally understood those past reviews. I wasn’t negative or difficult, I was just really good at playing devil’s advocate. Looking for weak spots and potential points of failure in things. we were working on. The reason I was sometimes viewed as negative was because of how I played devil’s advocate.
Staying Positive
On its own, it’s a very useful skill and helps prevent bad ideas. But how you approach it is just as important. Not only does that affect how well your advice is received, but it can also shape your friend’s or coworker’s view of you. That’s the piece I was missing in that job years ago. So how can you stay positive? These are a few of the ways I try to do that:
Check Your Intent
Remember that you are telling someone else their idea or plan is flawed in some way. It’s hard for any of us to not take something like that personally. So before you offer criticism, ask yourself what is the intent of your message? Are you warning of a potential problem because it will be much worse if not identified now? Or are you just trying to find problems because you’re good at it?
Any potential problem you identify should have a related negative outcome that happens if it is ignored. In other words, if you don’t address this issue, this bad thing that we want to avoid will happen. Focusing on why it’s a problem is an important part of the process. You’re still technically talking about a negative thing, but now you’re talking about avoiding it which turns it into a positive.
Suggest Solutions
One of the best ways to soften the blow when telling someone their plan has a flaw is to suggest a solution. If you’re following this advice and checked your intent, you should have already identified a problem and why it needs to be addressed. Think of at least one way you could do something different to avoid that negative outcome. If you can come up with multiple options that’s even better!
Now you can approach this as a problem you’ve solved. It could be a small change, or a new plan altogether. Maybe it spurs additional conversation or requires more detailed analysis. But it’s no longer perceived as you being difficult. You’re saving the day because you identified a problem early and thought of the solution.
Set aside time for gratitude
Because I spend a lot of my time analyzing things and finding problems, it’s easy for that to become my default reaction to things. Even things that I have no reason to analyze or break apart. Something as simple as a tweet about an upcoming event can trigger an immediate reaction from me of “That’s a bad idea because….”
One of the ways I try to break out of that habit is by replacing it with a positive habit. I have a planner I’m trying to use more often and it has a spot labeled “Gratitude” at the top of each day. It’s a great prompt to get me thinking about something positive at the beginning of every day. The awesome thing about writing those down is if you’re ever feeling overcome by negativity or struggling to think of positive things, you have a planner full of them to read. Whether you write down things you’re thankful for or think of things that make you happy, set aside time every day to be grateful and dwell on positive things.
Switching Sides
The reason people like us are good at playing devil’s advocate isn’t that we’re negative people. It’s because we’re able to analyze something and identify anything that conflicts with the majority view. Most of the time that means we’re finding problems because everyone else focuses on the positives.
But what happens when the opposite is true? What if you’re in a situation where there are too many people finding faults and potential problems? A meeting or team full of negative energy can be just as unproductive as one where no one challenges any ideas.
That’s when you use the same analytical skills to focus on positive things everyone else is missing. You can strike a balance on your team and prevent it from turning into an unproductive mess. Obviously, you understand the importance of pointing out flaws. But if everyone else has that covered, remind them that all is not lost by highlighting the good things about whatever you’re discussing.
Conclusion
Staying positive when you’re so good at being “negative” is not always easy. But I hope the tips I laid out can help you like they’ve helped me. If you have other tips that you’ve found beneficial I would love to hear them so please share in the comments.